Toughen up

(This movie is really good especially for us women folks (sad that it didn't make the Hollywood BOxoffice)..if after watching this doens't get ur juice running and make u go to the nearest self defense class, I don't know wat else to say)

After reading a friend's blog entry about educating and training oneself with self defense skills, memories came flooding. I too had seen the insides of the police station one too many times. I'll share the story but first, just to let you know that I was trained in martial arts and competed with a gold medal to prove in sparring (back in school days). I was an athelete and I considered myself quite fit. And never have I imagined myself to be a victim of violence.

Year 1998..I was ending a relationship with my then BF of almost 1 year. I didn't think we will have a future. Because lately I realised that there was something amiss about his character that I couldn't put a finger on and all of my friends have warned me against him. I actually sacrificed my best friend-ship to be with this man. Of course I thought I was in love and that alone is enough to make me blind to his flaws (worst thing is I make excuses for him). He was a well educated man, in law no less, with a bright future ahead. He seemed sincere and serious enough to me. We talked about getting married after I finished studies bla bla bla.. I even wrote a bloody letter to my Mum about him (gosh was I so gullible, and I never talk about my love life with Mum let alone own up that I have a BF)..ok now u have a general idea of how it was going. All my friends started to stay away from me because all of them hated his obnoxiousness and most of the time I was with him.

So..cut the looong story short, I landed the axe over the phone and e rushed over to my apartment to demand explaination. He brought over the things that I gave to him and burned it. Then..he slapped me hard on the face, twice. And ran off. The only thing I can do then was to scream curses at him as he sped away. After that incident, he started stalking me, and my good (male) friend always keep me company whenever I wanted to go out. I was so scared. Even my housemate was scared. After 1 week i think he called me up and talked nicely and ask me to return all the things he gave me. I asked my friend to accompany me as my house mate was not home. My friend waited for me at the basement parking lot so as not to fuel my ex's anger. My ex got out of his car and we exchanged heated words and he shoved me against the car. Security guards started to come around and I said better to end this quickly and both of us went up to the apartment. As he waited outside, he snatched my handbag and held it as ransom. When I came back with his stuff, again I was caught off guard with a hard slap on my cheeks but this time I wasn't gonna let him get away with it without a fight. Fury came over me but all my martial art skills never came through..it was just pure adrenaline and anger. And I how was I , such a skinny tiny girl can even come close to hurt this tall and fit b#*@!rd, none of my punches landed on him. It only gave him an opportunity to kick me in the stomach and I "flew" few paces behind and hit the pillar..tried to hit me again with a video tape, but I blocked and got scraped by is steel watch. After that he ran away. I stood there shaking..and rushed back into my apartment to calm down and collect myself.

When I went down to my friend at the basement, I saw his car was rammed into..obviously by the sick b#*@!rd. The door of the passenger seat was totally crashed in. It was witness by the security guards. We went to report at the nearest Police station and the detective called that sicko in. He was interogated like a criminal..the detective really did justice to me..and it was done right in front of me. At first he was cocky and denied everything but after 1 hour he cowered down like a timid mouse. I chose not to press charges for some reasons and he agreed to pay damages. And guess what, his ambition was to become the Chief of Police! Maybe no more coz now he has a police record.

Year 2001..I was a victim of snatch thief. As I was walking just a 2 minutes away from my home in Luyang. The man was driving a pick up truck and apparently was lurking awaiting for a lone pedestrian. The lane was really quiet, not many cars pass by. I didn't even notice it was cruising behind me untill it was too late and all I saw was a hand reaching out to pull my handbag hanging on my shoulders. Mind you I was a "correct" pedestrian, I walk on the opposite side of the trafic, my bag was away from the road. He managed to grab the strap and drag away while is other hand was steering te pick up truck. I held on to my bag and because of that I fell on my back (twisted around) and was dragged on the tarmac until the strap broke. Then he stopped and looked back at me as if wanting to come our of the truck and make a grab or hurt me or something. But I screamed on top of my lungs to get my neighbours attention. Oh and this happened in broad daylight. But being in my neighbourood, who minded their own business and nobody was hanging outside, no one came to my aid. Thankfully my scream scared off the thief and he sped off.

Wat happened to me? Large piece of my skin on the back was scrapped off my the tarmac and I bruised my shoulders. I limped back home and called my aunt who brought me 1st to the police station and lodge a report then to the hospital. I was wearing only tube tops and sarong for 1 whole week.

Moral of the story..all those martial art skills I've learned didn't come in handy when I was caught off guard and overpowered. I believe now that I have to live and breathe self defense skills so that it becomes natural to me and I do not have to think to respond to my defense, not just take lessons and take things for granted. I think the best is the street fighting skills much like the one in the movie Enough will do me much better. And ladies, most of the time, our attacker will be much stronger than us. So there are specific skills that can be learned to overcome this situation. I have heard of such classes now available at Likas PLaza. I forgot the name but I will search for it, I think I've seen it's advert in Breeze magazine.

We must not take our safety for granted. It can happen unexpectedly and at the time we're at our most vulnerable. Fit or not fit, if we're mentally and technically prepared, we shall survive. Hey we don't have to fight them off to the death, just buy enough time for us to flee for safety.